There is a tiny Kaiju spirit locked inside your cat. I’m pretty sure this isn’t scientifically verifiable, but it is anecdotally recognized by anyone who has spent any amount of time with a house cat. In their hearts, they long for destruction, and your board game is an ideal realm for them to wreak havoc. What could be more satisfying than jumping on the table and dramatically destroying a cardboard city with the swipe of a tail just as the players are about to finish the game? Do I speak from personal experience? Perhaps. But why shouldn’t we indulge them on occasion? Allow them just a little bit of a war crime, as a treat?
There are three qualifiers that make for a truly satisfying game for a cat to destroy. The first is visual impact. The more height and scale to your game, the more joy in the destruction. Second is emotional impact. If you spent an hour laying out those fiddly pieces just right and getting the game board to slot together evenly, it becomes the perfect stomping ground for your tiny house tiger. Third, cats thrive on dramatic irony and comedic timing, a fact readily apparent to any cat owner who has just finished cleaning their house for company, only to find a massive hairball on the carpet just as the doorbell rings.
Top Ten Board Games You Should Let Your Cat Destroy
10. boop.
boop. is like an amuse-bouche of destruction. An appetizer of crime. In boop, two players take turns placing kittens on a bed. Those kittens systematically push each other off the bed board. The players are trying to get three kitten meeples placed in a row. You didn’t know this when you started playing, but there is a secret third player. He is plotting and menacing, and will certainly not tolerate other cats, even wooden token ones, on a bed in his house. He will BOOP those cats off into oblivion, and you’ll be lucky if you find all of the pieces after. Bonus points go to the cat if it’s Boop the Halls or Booooop, and they can hide those pieces in the same place where they stash all of your missing seasonal decorations.
2 Players • Ages 10+ • 20-30 minutes • $25
9. Santorini
Dionysus, the Greek god associated with chaos and madness, had a chariot pulled by giant cats. He understood their spirit and their wanton need for destruction. In Santorini, the Greek gods assist you as you build stark white towers against the sparkling blue sea. In this chess-like abstract strategy game for two players, you move your builder pawns up and around the board, building vertical tower platforms until your player can ascend to the third level. The production is beautiful, and the game gets more stressful as you build up the vertical city, blocking your opponent and moving up where you can. A smart cat will wait until victory is moments away, hopping on the table and batting aside those buildings with gleeful abandon. Will you ever be able to replicate the exact layout to finish the game? No. Will you sneak your cat a few extra treats when you realize your opponent was closer to victory than you were? Perhaps.
2-4 Players • Ages 8+ • 20 minutes • $50
8. Voidfall
So much time. So much effort. Voidfall is a game for people who like a setup process almost as much as they enjoy gaming. It’s heavy and complicated, and your cat will revel in its destruction. Voidfall is a complex Euro style 4x game of space politics, none of which are words that I personally gravitate towards under normal circumstances. But it’s one of those games that you look forward to playing solo all week. You clear your schedule, make yourself a nice cup of tea, and put on a good playlist. You puzzle through the gametrays methodically laying it all out, and the moment you take your eyes off the board, fuzzy chaos strikes. The greater your emotional investment, the sweeter its destruction.
1-4 Players • Ages 15+ • 90-240 minutes • $120
7. Isle of Cats
It’s the irony of it. Isle of Cats is a game all about saving kitties from near destruction. It understands the precocious nature of its subject and knows that getting a critter to go where you want is like, well, you know. This game relies on the careful placement of tetromino cat tiles, making the most of the storage on your boat tableau so that you can take as many cats as possible safely to shore. If a cat were a logical creature, it would laud your efforts, be proud of you for your commitment to the longevity of the magical feline species. But cats aren’t logical. They’re cats. And tiles, especially carefully placed tiles, are fun to swipe off a table.
1-4 Players • Ages 8+ • 60-90 minutes • $50
6. King of Tokyo
This is where your cat’s Kaiju spirit can shine. A modern classic of lightweight gaming that pits giant monsters and aliens against one another to see who can destroy a city first, King of Tokyo calls to your cat. Players battle it out to be the first to 20 victory points, giving them the perfect timeline of when to jump in to cause the most havoc. Your furry friend has always wanted the opportunity to join in the run and roll dice, especially right off the table. The oversized standees are the perfect size for batting around, and the way the tiny green cubes will leave you frantically counting, making sure one didn’t get swallowed as visions of a horrific vet bill fill your head, is fun for the whole family.
2-6 Players • Ages 8+ • 30 minutes • $45
5. MLEM: Space Agency
Your cat wants to go to space. I promise. They dream of the stars, of cosmic challenges, and a vast infinity of destructive possibilities. MLEM: Space Agency may be the closest they can come, and who are we to deny them that opportunity? In MLEM, players take on the role of cat explorers as they reach into the cosmos, piloting a rocket towards adventure. The game has a long board that functions as a perfect catwalk, and rocket tokens that, with the correct paw trajectory, can actually take flight!
2-5 Players • Ages 8+ • 30-60 minutes • $77
4. Catch the Moon
Players compete to stack precariously arranged ladder pieces on top of one another in order to reach the moon. A roll of the dice determines how the pieces have to be stacked, and the player who causes the least destruction wins. Seeing this game out on the table will sing a siren song to your cat, and it’s one of the few on this list where human and cat interests can be aligned in harmony. I also feel the call to knock over the whimsically decorative stack of ladders. There’s something so twee and lovely about this game, and the fact that destroying the tableau will lose you points makes the forbidden act all the more tempting. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the catharsis of watching your cat lay a path of destruction instead. It will do both of your spirits good.
1-6 Players • Ages 6+ • 20 minutes • $25
3. Cats Knocking Things Off Ledges
Designers may be growing wise to the whims of cats. The Op Games certainly has, and this game was made specifically to satisfy their passion for chaos. Players take turns to build structurally unsound cat towers. They place their cat tokens oh-so-carefully on top of these towers, and then use a little paw lever to push toys down as many landings as they can, gaining more points the farther the toys fall. I fear this serves as too much inspiration for real-life feline friends, but it would certainly make their hearts sing to knock your towers down for you, treating each of the pieces like an in-game toy to score. Cats enjoy victory points, too, you know.
2-4 Players • Ages 10+ • 15 minutes • $20
2. Deluxe 3D Catan
Do you have a custom 3D printed Catan Set that you like to break out to impress your friends? Maybe one that you’ve hand-carved or painted, painstakingly artistically rendering the terrain in an ode to the game that first sparked your interest, the gateway to a lifelong love of board games? Is it full of precious memories and imbued with every ounce of craftsmanship that you can muster? Your cat would LOVE to rub their butt on that. They will stomp it with fervor, planting their little kitty paws all over your hard work and effort, knocking down all of the roads and cities and making off with the robber pawn clasped between its tiny fangs. Honestly, of all the games on the list, this is the one that your friends may actually thank the cat for interrupting. I suggest checking their pockets for bribe treats and reassessing the glazed looks in their eyes after the hour of pre-game time you spent walking them through all of your lovingly handcrafted details.
3-4 Players • Ages 10+ • 60-90 minutes • $300
1. Heroscape Master Set: Age of Annihilation
Truly a gold standard for destruction, both the original Heroscape and its re-release offer the gaming world’s most perfect stomping ground for fuzzy paws. Allow your cat the luxury of tearing a path of destruction across an immersive battlefield that spans the whole table, and you’ll see true vindictive joy shine through. Heroscape combines all three qualifiers. The finicky hex tiles can be a time-consuming pain to slot together, and an exciting setup sometimes requires precariously and creatively balanced bridges and towers. There’s lofty 3D terrain that they get to weave through and knock down like the titans they are. And nothing is worse than when you’ve planned your path precisely so that your opponent can’t possibly stop you from reaching your goal, only to have a furry menace hop up to join the battlefield and reset all of the figures, one moving suspiciously closer to you than originally planned. Every cat should have the opportunity to live out their Kaiju dreams and destroy a Heroscape battlefield once in their nine lives. It’s truly a feline dream come true.
2 Players • Ages 14+ • 60-120 minutes • $100
